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Avatars like the one above cause many developers to question their career choice |
One developer spoke above the rest as the panel began: “We have put years of our blood, sweat and tears into making a comprehensive, flexible system so that our customers could make their ideal hero, and this is how they repay us?” At this point a printed screen shot was presented showing what appeared to be a corpulent woman with an anus for a face.

The event proceeded with a slide show presentation depicting some of the worst encounters: Strong men with tiny, grotesque baby faces, characters that were heavily wrinkled, lightly bearded and fairly testicular looking in nature, and many, many unmasked Predator look-a-likes. Many of the developers lost their composure at this display, bemoaning how they could never face their families again or quoting J. Robert Oppenheimer, developer of the atom bomb: “I am become death, destroyer of worlds.”
Jessie Horker, an artistic design manager, stated that a more robust creation system was usually a big selling point for a game. “All we wanted was to give players as many options as possible. You want a big heroic cleft chin, you got it. You want a slim nose for that feminine look, or maybe a prominent brow that shows you’re in charge, we’re on it. You put every slider to full and make your character look like someone stuffed a zeppelin up their nasal cavity, you’re just insulting everyone involved.”
The problem was quickly pointed out to not be limited to online games. Bioware games such as the Mass Effect and Dragon Age series were quick to add their own list of woes along with Dark Souls creators and others. Even Nintendo was able to add their voice to the discussion, citing the number of phallus depictions on disturbingly, yet carefully designed Mii avatars that they had to screen to maintain their family friendly image.
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This was great and even believable! Good job!
ReplyDeleteBest article ever! Hilarious!
ReplyDelete