Deceptively funny, extraordinarily mediocre.

Future MMO to Feature Nanotransactions

Following a leak of design documents from its yet-to-be-named MMO in development, Kappa Games & "Entertainment" released a statement to the gaming world in order to address several pre-early access screenshots that were revealed. Below are the most interesting snippets:

"...Most of the chatter we have read claims our game will heavily feature microtransacitons. This is 100% incorrect. There will be NO microtransactions in our game. What we will have are called nanotransactions..."

Pre-Early Access Screenshot
"...As most following the development of the game know, we have brought in a world-class economist to develop our pricing model. Although we have yet to name him, trust me when I tell you that he is legit... glasses, leather elbow patches on his sport coat, Norwegian, pretentious as all get out...the guy even smokes a pipe..."

"...It was after much analysis and deliberation that we decided that nanotransactions were the way to go. Financially speaking, charging a monthly subscription puts a cap on our per user income, microtransactions doesn't get the money coming in fast enough, and simply charging $60 for the game once is idiotic..."

"...In the end, we wanted to allow players the choice on how they wanted to play our game. Being burdened with a monthly sub only puts pressure on players to log in. Don't care what your character looks like? Then why pay for a character creation tool? Crafters can pay their $.03 crafting fee and completely ignore the $.01 mob attack fee..."

"...The numbers and prices seen in the screenshots are not final and are subject to testing and balancing. These are screenshots from our Pre-Early Access. Expect there to be many changes come Early Access and Pre-Alpha, followed by Alpha, which leads to Early Release, after which we will run our Open Beta. Please be aware that these prices will change over time, most likely in an upwards direction..."

Pre-Early Access Screenshot
Pre-Early Access Screenshot
Pre-Early Access Screenshot

4 comments: Leave Your Comments

  1. This is so spot on. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  2. wtf devs are getting so greedy gaming is dead

    ReplyDelete
  3. Guys, come on, it's not pay2win!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Who is going to fall this stupid stuff???????? Its pathetic!
    It shocked me the first-time I saw those screenshots and I am not even playing the game!

    ReplyDelete